Here is the story all about how / Our life got flip

After 6 months of rumours, supposition and downright bonkersness, the long-awaited date of 12th September – the Apple fanatic’s Christmas – finally arrives. It’s KEYNOTE DAY!!! So we’ll be hearing all about the new iPhone 8, among other magical innovations. Such excite! If like most of the world you’re dying of anticipation you can pre-order the iPhone 8 and iPhone 8 Plus here with us!


Of course, the true believers will always find a way to plug into the revelations as they unfold at the new Steve Jobs Theater. The Apple TV; the Apple Watch… You at the back – do you have anything to share with the class?

The answer? THERE IS MUCH TO SHARE, SIR. More than you’d ever thought possible. There’s also an iPhone X; it’s real, and it’s magnificent.

(We interrupt the celebrations to bring you a public safety message from Down Under, where the New South Wales police demonstrate an exemplary grasp of social media.)

Now, having paid close attention during those Sesame Street cartoons we think we’ve spotted a key detail. What is it about the last single digit that makes tech titans turn their faces away? Let us pause to pay tribute to the Forgotten Nines.

But now is not the hour to look back, our friends. It’s the time to gaze into an iPhone with a body of glass at back and front, seemingly from here to infinity! It charges as if by witchcraft! It can unlock a kingdom of delights using your own face as the key! And its naming is rich with significance, just as the prophets forsaw it.

 

While most of us are downright hooting with glee at Apple’s new facial recognition technology, there will always be those who view it merely as an opportunity to vaguetweet. U ok hun?


… while WWE Superstar John Cena has more understandable misgivings (and if you get this one, congratulations – you just graduated from the School of Thuganomics with a First).

But the rest of us devotees are entranced, tbh.

You won’t be able to scamper off for the iPhone X until November. Until then, here’s a reminder not to be this guy. Remember, it’s ‘TEN’.