We love to stay up late and watch Netflix. And if you do too, we think Go Binge will be your perfect companion.

Whether it’s an unwanted knock at the door, the human biological requirement of sleep, or your data allowance spluttering to a halt, no one likes interruptions when they’re getting their binge-watch on. The last bit is easy – we’ve put the Go Binge offer together so you can stream for as long as you like without eating into your data. And if you’re one of the 17% of us who cane multiple episodes between midnight and 4am the first two issues won’t trouble you either.

More and more of us are joining the Night’s Watch (sorry). Ever started watching a show at normal o’clock but got so bewitched you haven’t even twigged that you missed bedtime? Magic times, fam. Or maybe killer insomnia has struck and you find your comfort in filling those hours with some cosy chuckles or some seat-of-the-pants action. Either way, here are the seven lessons you’ll encounter as you learn the ways of the Late Night Binger.

When the Sleep Gods cheat you, you can cheat them right back

So you’ve found yourself wide-eyed and alert in the witching hour, on the verge of an all-out attack of the Night Crazies (you know, those grinding anxieties that seem so harmless during the day). Why not turn those sour old lemons of sleeplessness into sweet, sweet Bingeade. Can’t stop wondering Whatever Happened to Monday? Nailing some more of that sibling-rich small-screen obsession is the closest you’re going to get to feeling productive or efficient right now – so grasp that life-preserver with both hands, friend.

The path of the Late Night Binger is a lonely one

It’s late – late late – and your housemates are out for the count. Facebook is looking like a run-down seafront pub in February, and Twitter is 99.1% pure American politics. If you’ve spotted someone who’s really, really famous now doing a bit part in Friends and there’s no one to tell about it, did it ever really happen? Philosophers have been debating this question since the early days of streaming, so don’t expect an answer anytime soon.

Be careful with late night binge buddies 

It’s this solitude that means a brief convo, under someone else’s status about Ozark with a friend-of-a-friend you’ve never met, has blossomed into a simul-streaming bonding experience. This also means your actual mate will now wake up to four hundred comments, 381 of which will either read “omg”, “omggg” or “omgggggg” Your new pal will, of course, slip into your DMs next lunchtime to burble away about non-sesh-related matters, and it’s totally okay to freak out when it dawns on you they might be a serial killer. For roughly 12 hours, that is, until the lights have dimmed and your inhibitions lower once more.

But there’s no one like your small hours soulmate

You think it feels good to snatch bingeing victory from the jaws of sleeplessness? The experience is greater than the sum of its parts when someone else just happens to be up too. Whether it’s a housemate (Grace & Frankie), your other half (actually, Grace & Frankie again) or a friendly neighbourhood burglar (has he seen Grace & Frankie yet? Definitely worth checking), as long as you can both agree on the material your binge bond will be unshakable until the end of time itself. Just make sure you read our handy guide to binge-watching without ruining your relationship.

It’s not just about the thrill-athons

From the real-event-inspired action of Narcos to The Defenders‘ fantastic feats of derring-do, we don’t need to tell you how exciting Netflix’s shows are. But here’s a little nighttime hack if you can’t sleep, or if you find it hard to wind down after the gripping conclusion of your latest binge-watch obsession: meet Bob Ross.

You will always be able to find The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross on Netflix. Easy now: only binge-watch this unless you want to really, really relax. But spend just 15 minutes with the shrub-haired painter after a breathtaking grand-finale cliffhanger and he’ll bring you gently back down to earth, ready to catch what few Zzs there are left in your night.

If you fall asleep mid-ep your reality is forever altered

Chances are you’ll eventually drift off at some point – leaving the next few instalments to play out in the background while you go on to have the weirdest dreams. So you’ve woken up mumbling a three-count while holding your bewildered cat in a cobra clutch? Somebody had quite the GLOW sesh. And if you’re struggling to work out why you’re impossibly perky after only two hours’ sleep, we’re fairly sure last night’s Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt-fest is not entirely blameless. If this is how you like to roll, we recommend night-bingeing The Crown for the cut-glass elocution and perfect posture that’ll be yours by the morning. It’s like night school, only more entertaining.

The next day is… a challenge

Sure, you somehow ended up in a head-to-toe orange outfit, but you just need to tell anyone who will listen that colour blocking is totes Fall/Winter; the real battle will be staying awake at the office. In meetings, you’ve learned to convert yawns into heartfelt expressions of approval, but only true masters of the art can get nudged awake without slapping that hand away and mumbling “Yes, I am still watching.”

However, when we looked into the binge-watching habits of the UK, we found 1 in 7 people aged 16-24 have pulled a sickie after a big binge. So if you ask us, you’re already due a medal – just for showing up.